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home>>family>>relationship>>10 things you never...

Ten Things You Never Knew About Relationships


When you finally attract and build a healthy relationship, a whole new world of realizations opens up to you. You finally understand how relationships work and what deep, true love really looks like.

Today I'll share ten things you will realize once you are in a healthy relationship.

1. You did not know your soul mate right away.

When you met you soul mate, you did not know him or her by fanfare and the rush of hormones. You only knew him or her by a very gentle tug on your heart.

2. Relationships rarely look like romantic movies or books.

Imaginary people fall in love quickly and live happily ever after. Real people fall into real love slowly and live fully ever after. It took you about 6 to 9 months to appreciate your partner enough to think about falling in love with him or her.

3. It takes years to really get to know someone.

The gift of being human is our complexity. Is it possible to know someone in a week, a month, a few dates? Can you reveal all of your complexity in that short amount of time? How long does it take someone to truly know you? It took you years to truly get to know your partner.

4. Great relationships are completely worth the effort.

There is nothing like being in a great relationship. There is nothing like being seen and known by the one you love, and seeing and loving back. You are grateful you have this gift, even though it took a lot of work to get here.

5. In spite of lots of bad relationships, a great relationship is possible.

It doesn't matter if you have been "unlucky in love." All that matters is that you have taken the steps necessary to build a great relationship. These were different steps than the ones you have taken in the past. If you had to do this again, you would know exactly what to do.

6. A relationship is like a living being; it needs love, caring, space, etc.

People tend to either ignore or smother relationships. In the first case they ignore their partner, thinking that a relationship, once established, will always be there. Or in the other extreme, they spend every moment with their partner, give, and expect undivided attention. If you had a pet, how would it survive under such conditions? But you know better, you give your relationship the time, attention, and space it needs.

7. Your relationship doesn't have to be like your parents'.

Regardless of the models and worldview of the previous generations, your life still belongs to you. You have chosen how you do your relationships, instead of blindly doing or thinking something just because it comes naturally.

8. You have a great relationship because you don't need one.

Your life is wonderful and having a relationship is not its focus. This is why you attracted the right mate. You know that having a great life is not at all the same as forcing yourself not to think about relationships or shutting down out of disappointment.

9. There is no such thing as boredom in a relationship.

There may be anger, resentment, shut down, but never boredom. How can you get bored with your partner when your needs are being met, when you have great communication, when you feel loved and love back? Could you ever be bored with that? What people think of as boredom is actually the accumulated weight of unspoken resentments and anger squeezing the life out a relationship.

10. Good sex does not mean a good relationship.

Looking back, you know sex is not how you connected with you partner. The two of you have created a romantic relationship you enjoy. And from that, you have created a sex life you enjoy. Now you know that when you meet someone, you need to get to know them first and not audition them for a sex partner.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

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About The Author
Rinatta Paries, 1998-2003.
Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnettm"!
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