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home>>family>>dating>>overcoming rejection

Overcoming Rejection


At one time or another during our life we will all experience some sort of rejection. This is something that many people have a great fear of and can often stop them from leading a normal life. A lot of peopleare still yet able to deal with rejection and therefor avoid situations where rejection may arise i.e. applying for a higher paid job but most often then not asking someone out on a date or flirting with someone. We ascociate rejection with failure, inadequacy, we simply don't like the feeling of being rejected.

You are in a club and a gorgeous guy is standing next to you at the bar, you want to ask him to dance, to talk to him. But stop there is a voice saying "what if he doesn`t like me, what if he has a girlfriend". To late he is already on the dance floor with the girl that asked him to dance. You are left standing at the bar feeling miserable and foolish at not having the guts to ask him to dance. Not to mention jelous because this other girl has him now.

Now you need to start thinking about getting over this fear of rejection before it takes control of your life. We only have one life and should not use up any of the valuable time regretting what might have happened if only we weren`t afraid of rejection. (Because you will regret it.)

Write a short letter to yourself about how you felt the first time you were rejected by anyone. Sad, a failure, useless and so on.

Now write what happened as a result of the rejection. Not how you felt, but look back over the days, weeks, months and even years how would your life had changed if you hadn`t been rejected. Maybe you were rejected by a man and he is now, a slob, a millionaire or even dead. Would you have met your husband, (if married) the partners you have had since. Is this good or bad? Do the same exercise for being rejected from a job, parents etc.. It is very important that you do this task. At the end of it you will no whether this was an act of fate and that you are much happier with what you have got or whether things have never been so bad for you. You will often find that things have gotting better.

If things have been bad ever since, ask yourself why and be truthful. Did the rejection stop you from asking a gorgeous guy out or any guy for that matter? Are you still stuck in the same job because you were afraid to apply for a higher paid job in case of rejection.

Now you have established how you feel about rejection and the role rejection has played in your life. It is now time to write down all the things that you have regreted not doing because of the fear of rejection.

Like before is the thing you regretted not doing anything that is worth regretting. The one question that really needs to be asked is are you happy? There is many ifs and buts and whether your life changed for better or worse that is in the past and now as you sit and stare at the screen you are in your past, present and future and you need to look at what is important. Is my life good? Am I happy? Have I got what I want? If you have answered yes then you are on the wrong page but thanks for taking the time to read this.

If the answer is no to these questions then you need to start thinking about tomorrow and how to make it better than today.

You have already established what is wrong. Fear of rejection and until you get over this fear you will never be happy because you will always be living on "If only`s".

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