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home>>family>>relationship>>how a phony persona hurts you

How A Phony Persona Always Hurts You

By Brian Maloney

'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly isn't ill advice considering what you are losing in the long run when you adopt one of these fraudulent lives.

You may ask, what's adding a little sizzle hurt any?

It's not the extra energy that you bring to the table as long as it's your true personality. It is the egregious transformation from you knowing who you are, to a personality that you may or may not realize is fraudulent.

Whether you call it fake, phony, fraudulent, multiple personalities or whatever, it pretty much adds up to the same thing. It is not who you are. I know, I, not unlike millions of others, had taken on the 'Mr. Hollywood' whenever a situation called for it and my color changed like a chameleon to suit my environment.

Adolescents are always trying to one up each other in order to cement themselves into an ever-changing social structure. You may see it at the mall when a pack of thirteen year old girls float through an area you are shopping and their volume is much more accentuated than that of 99% of everyone elses..

It is almost as though, since everyone else is always trying to put on their respective show to the world that if you don't, you're afraid you won't stand out; you'll be bland and boring. When you're not trying to impress the world with your made up personality, you're just that regular Joe that you or anyone else will see as unique.

That mindset couldn't be farther from the truth! In fact, when you change your fundamental persona to suit your environment, you not only hurt yourself with a lie, but you lie to everyone you put this on for. It may be your friends, it may be your family or both.

So what would happen if you didn't put on your plastic face everyday? Wouldn't you be letting everyone down who depends on that persona to entertain them, to make their existence better? Wouldn't you be lying again by being you because you've always been lying?

This could not only ruin your social life, but possibly get you fired because your boss may expect that outgoing salesperson he first hired. All of a sudden, you want to be you instead of the fantasy that's magnetic, appealing and irresistible.

I say change to be the real you, even if it does a lot of damage. But what if you don't know who the real you is because you're so stuck in this vacuum that breeds and feeds fake? Then you need to do some serious "soul searching".

Ask yourself, what means most to you? Wasting precious time being someone your not, or living your life true and clean? To me, it's a no brainer, but to others who dislike themselves so much, this can be one of the most daunting tasks ever.

Why is it so hard to be seen for who we really are?

When you're taking on this false persona, you feel more secure because your natural persona, as you see it, is not worthy. You've clipped its beautiful wings and kept it in a cage so if it wanted to fly, it couldn't, due to your own suppression.

The most painful thought imaginable is that of the time wasted. Most of the time, years can never be recouped. In addition, if change towards your natural personality is never achieved, your whole life just may be a lie.

Not only will you gain more respect from your family and peers, but more importantly, you will always respect yourself no matter where life may bring you. So make the change, and don't waste anymore life, it's definitely not worth it

How would this look on your headstone? He lived his life as a lie, but what a great guy.

Don't be that person. It's never to late to make changes, no matter how difficult change is. Because being true to yourself as who you really are instead of what you think everyone wants you to be, is absolutely the most self empowering life you could possibly lead.

Not only will you gain more respect from your family and peers, but more importantly, you will always respect yourself no matter where life may bring you. So make the change, and don't waste anymore life, it's definitely not worth it.

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About The Author

by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com
Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice from a 'Logical' standpoint.
Visit http://valueprep.com
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