You're a Programmer if...
you lust for O'Reilly books.
you know that "goto considered harmful".
you are looking for the "else" at the end of this joke.
you believe that making a wrong program worse is no sin.
every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you.
when you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary.
you are sure that the year 2000 is a leap year, and know why it is dangerous.
you start laughing hysterically when the topic of computer reliability is brought up.
you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in hexadecimal.
the language you are best speaking is English, but the language you are best writing is Java.
on vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.