Women

Element: woman
Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: accepted as 55kg but is known to vary from approx 45kg to 225kg.

Occurrence: surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
1) surface usually covered with film of powder and paint
2) boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason
3) melts if given proper treatment
4) bitter if used incorrectly
5) found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore

Chemical Properties:
1) reacts well to gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
2) absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3) explodes spontaneously without reason or warning
4) the most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Uses:
1) highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2) can be a great aid to relaxation
3) can be a very effective cleaning agent

Caution:
1) turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen
2) possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact

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